Part 1: Missionary Dating

Ok so I was inspired to write this blog after an awesome bible study/prayer time with my husband.  I was sitting back reflecting on how amazing it is to be married to a man whose relationship with God I respect so much.  He challenges me and stretches me and knows how to encourage my spirit toward Jesus in a way that is only sent from Heaven.  I am not only a better woman, but I have a stronger, more trusting relationship with God because of his presence in my life.

But enough about him!  This blog isn't about him at all, I'll have you know.  It's about my gratitude to my godly girlfriends!  The girlfriends that held my hand and walked with me down my journey of singlehood.   Who loved me, corrected me, and overall just kept me encouraged during those moments when I was losing patience, doubting my own value, or wanting to making stupid choices to satisfy my temporary loneliness.

So I've compiled a couple of reasons why godly girlfriends are a must have in the life of a single lady and every Monday for the next few weeks I'm going to blog on one of these reasons.  I pray that these challenge you, make you laugh, and encourage you.  And if you don't have women in your life that can do these things for you, I would just implore you to start building these types of relationships now!

                                     
This Week's Highlight: 

They remind you that your dating life should not be the mission field. 
I don't know how many times I tried to convince myself (and my friends) that it would be ok for me to date a non Christian man!  I obviously knew what scripture had to say about it ie DON'T FREAKING DO THAT! (that's that urban paraphrase ha!).  But in my impatience and doubt, I struggled with believing that God would provide that awesome, smart, hot, fun, passionate-for-Jesus guy that I knew deep down inside I wanted.  Here's how a few of these conversations went. 

Nicole:  "I know he's not a Christian but I feel like God is using me in his life!" 
Friend #1:  "Maybe God is using you in his life! But swapping spit with the guy while preaching the gospel might confuse things. I'm just sayin'."
Friend #2:  "And, Nicole, you aren't responsible for his salvation.  If spending time with him is causing you to do/say/think in ways that compromise your connectedness to God, you MUST BOUNCE, at least for the time being. If his interest in Christ is genuine, God will continue working with him even if you aren't around." 

Nicole: "But he's such a nice guy! I'm sure God's in there somewhere!"
Friend: "It doesn't matter how "good of a person" he seems. If he doesn't profess Christ and his life  doesn't demonstrate that passion for God, he's not for you."

Nicole:  "Have you heard [so-and-so]'s story? She married a man who wasn't a believer and now he is and they are really happy. Why can't God do that for me?"  
Friend:  "I'm not saying God can't do that in this situation.  He very well could.  What I am saying is that he is not necessarily GOING to do that in this situation.  For every story like [so-and-so]'s, there are plenty of others where the man never accepts Christ and the women are unhappy for most of their marriage.  So, are you willing to risk it?  If your dude never ever changes, would you be able to say in 5, 10, or 20 years that you are enjoying your marriage and are growing closer to God?  
 
Nicole: "Well, he grew up Christian so that's something, right?"  
Friend:  "How he grew up (also known as "cultural Christianity") means diddly squat!  Every true follower of Christ has a heart change where they not only acknowledge Jesus Christ as God, but they decide to personally follow him.  If this hasn't happened in his life, he is not a believer."

Nicole:  "Well it's just one date.  What's the harm in that?"  
Friend:  "Our hearts are made to love.  It will grow to love what we put in front of it.  One date can turn into two and then five and then, before you know it, it's hard to separate yourself from this guy.  It's really never as simple as just one date."   

My poor friends.  God gave them an extra measure of patience to deal with me, for sure.  But at the end of the day, they (and God) would knock sense into me and I realized that I fundamentally had to decide what I believed.  Is God who he says he is? Yes. Is his word true and trustworthy? Yes. As someone who professes to be a Christian, is it my responsibility to obey God's word even when I don't understand it or don't see how it is going to work out?  Yes. Is it worth it in the long run to settle for something less than God's best just so I can solve my own temporary feelings of loneliness. No way.

So thanks to my girlfriends who kept nudging me in the right direction, kept speaking truth into my life and never let me stay in emotional or spiritual places that weren't good for me.  By the way, God did end up blessing me with that awesome, smart, hot, fun, passionate-for-Jesus guy that I knew deep down He had for me.  God rocks and waiting certainly paid off!

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 - 10 - Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.  But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
Proverbs 3: 5 - 6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 11:14  Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
2 Corin 6:14-18 - Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war.